Lia's BK tweets archive - 2022-12-31: Coliseum ranks 1, 2, 3, 4

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:19 AM · Dec 31, 2022 Permalink

Coliseum started. It’s pretty miserable even though the fights are easy (for now). Megathread when I’m done because there’s a lot of very, very good sidequest dialog

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:22 AM · Dec 31, 2022 Permalink

Do I actually risk anything if I flatten the group I’ve been warned about? It’s all “noooo don’t win that fight you’ll annoy the rich man” but considering the points requirements, I think I’m expected to piss him off!

Lia @liareplaysbk · 10:04 PM · Dec 31, 2022 Permalink

This entire plotline is apparently sponsored by “Sagi is FIFTEEN please stop making every adult woman in sight be horny for him it’s getting weird”
(NPC dialog in the entrance hall changes as you rank up)

Lia @liareplaysbk · 10:54 PM · Dec 31, 2022 Permalink

“What happens if I piss off the rich guy” turns out to be “It’s not like you have a choice, the rank 3 quest does not appear if you don’t clear all the encounters”!

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:36 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

So. This place. Now that we can get there by ship, off to a very bad start. I wish this didn’t set the tone for the rest.
Blanket cw for shitty creepy stuff about our 15yo hero, I guess!

Sfida Attendant: “From what I hear, successful entrants in the Coliseum become wildly popular with the ladies!”

Sfida Attendant: “Sagi, you’ve got to climb up the ranks and introduce me to some cute girls!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:39 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

There’s a lot of flavor text around, much of it about good combat / betting strategies, or an Anuénué snail backpack woman with a soldier fetish (her words), or an old Sadal Suud man really into seeing muscle men fight. Sure.
But also this maybe-conspiracy maybe-meta? I’m CURIOUS

Coliseum attendee: “Well, true to its name, the Imperial Coliseum is run by the Empire and all, but…”

Coliseum attendant: “There’s no way something like this was built without some purpose in mind. There has to be some trick!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:41 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Have your canon confirmation that Sagi would lick Switch game cards, I suppose

Sagi: “Let’s see… “Coolant: Contains Flame Ice. Do Not Ingest.””

Sagi: “Oh, come on. That’s practically an invitation to try it.”

Sagi: “Ugaah! My mouf! It burns! It buuuuurns!!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:46 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

New quest magnus for Pac! … I’m sure this person is fine and not at all concussed

Person Seeing Stars: “D-don’t look at me! It’s not what it looks like! I didn’t wet my pants—!”

Person Seeing Stars: “Huh, MOM?! How long have you been… You were watching this whole time?!”

Person Seeing Stars: “Where am I…? I-I see all the pretty stars… Oh, I see. I’ve become a bird.”

Textbox: “Obtained the magna essence [blue text] Phantasmagoria [end blue text]!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:49 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

So long as you’re carrying the thing, this is Recovered Person loops on. Lose the magnus - it ages into thin air - and a new crisis happens. Everything is fine, why does this game have so much Like That

Recovered Person: “Phew! I feel like I just relived some childhood trauma there!”

Recovered Person: “But now I feel great! Woo, this is awesome!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:52 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Anyway after that is LOTS OF FIGHTING. The first battle of a rank has a small cutscene and a special guitar mix, which is neat.
After that it’s just regular battle music that restarts with every round. It’s not great!

The party running through a gate and into an arena.

Two small monsters in an arena with a decent-size audience safe above a tall wall.

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:56 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Nonetheless, Rank 1 is what, Hassaleh encounters, so I steamroll all of it and promptly get sent on errands to unlock Rank 2.

Registration Lady: “As a matter of policy, we ask all combatants to perform some kind of service to the Coliseum—“

Registration Lady: “and they’re not allowed to progress a rank until they do.”

Registration Lady: “Please go to the infirmary in Sheliak. The doctor there has medicine we use to treat our […]”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 01:59 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

This is really a main quest progression gate, since you need to have access to Diadem.
Our errand is prevented by a kid yet again being a very believable kid

Elle: “I’m sick of lying around in bed every single day!”

Elle: “Just let me do what I want! Who cares what happens to me! It’s my body!”

Doctor: “I want you to live. I wish you didn’t have to be in pain, but you need to hang on to hope and keep living.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 02:02 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Sagi truly is brilliance incarnate some days. Still, this is a Coliseum quest, and so…

Doctor: “I’m sorry about all the noise. Elle is coping with a very serious illness.”

Elle: “Grrrrrr, would you quit talking about me?”

Elle: “Hey, you there! Those dog tags around your neck—those are for the Coliseum!”
Dialog choice: “That’s right” versus “Are not!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 02:04 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Sagi usually polishes up a flippant response into something nicer. Not this time and with this portrait and the way children in this series take no shit, it is PERFECT

Elle: “Liar! I know the Coliseum’s dog tags when I see them!”

Elle: “You must be one of the Coliseum’s fighters! What’s your name?”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 02:07 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Being sincere is IMO more in-character. But we converge on the same question either way…

Elle: “Ohh, cool! Then you must be one of the Coliseum’s fighters! What’s your name?”

Elle: “Sagi? Never heard of ya. You sure you’re not some kind of wuss?”
Dialog choice: “Wuss? No way!” versus “He has his moments”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 02:09 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

The spirit’s “He has his moments” becomes a very good Sagi line and a terrible kiddo answer. Is Elle learning from Gena or something.

Elle: “I knew it. Well, that’s no good. Boys are supposed to be strong!”

Elle: “You know how you could get stronger? You could do me a favor.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 02:12 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

If we answer more confidently, we’re spared Toxic Masculinity Truthisms. In all cases, the point is a request for fireworks, which are fired when someone becomes champion.

Elle: “Oh, yeah? Well, why don’t you do me a favor?”

Elle: “Uh-huh! Get them to set off fireworks for me at the Coliseum!”

Elle: “Oh, come on—everybody knows that! You have to become champion!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 02:14 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Is this blackmail

Elle: “You don’t know how happy that would make me. I bet I might even get better!”

Elle: “In fact, I know I will! So make them set off some fireworks for me… pleeeeeease?”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 02:17 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Who doesn’t love false choices by way of a horrible kid being a horrible kid

Sagi: “You heard her. What do you say, Lia?”
Dialog choice: “OK” versus “No can do”

Sagi: “Champion’s… kind of asking a lot.”

Elle: “Sagi, would you please make them set off some fireworks for me, pleeeeeease?”
Dialog choice: “OK” versus “No can do”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 02:20 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Fireworks it is, then. All in a day’s work.
(Unlike this thread which will continue after sleep is had)

Elle: “You are the coolest EVER, Sagi! I knew you’d say yes.”

Elle: “I’m gonna stay right here and keep an eye on the Coliseum. I don’t wanna miss it!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:28 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

As for why the fireworks would be visible: this line has been there all along

Inspection text: “You can see the Coliseum from this window. Talk about great seats.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:33 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

I’m surprised Guillo doesn’t comment that Elle seems set to grow up just as bad as Milly, or something.
In any case, we get our fetch quest item and we are off back to the Coliseum…

Elle: “If you start slacking off because you think it’s just a promise with some little kid, I’ll crush you!”

Doctor: “I received word from the Coliseum a short while ago. These are they. Please see them safely there.”

Textbox: “Obtained the valuable item [blue text] Fast-Acting Panacea [end blue text]!”

Valuables screen, focused on Fast-Acting Panacea: “A potent cure-all specially made by Dr. Zigzek of Sheliak. Many Coliseum entrants owe their lives to its miraculous ability to cure any wound on the spot.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:36 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

And that gets us rank 2, meaning time for more fights.

Registration Lady: “Wonderful! This is just what we needed.”

Registration Lady: “All right, Mr. Sagi. Let’s take care of your paperwork and move you up a rank, shall we?”

Text over blurred background: “Sagi achieved Rank 2 status!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:39 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

The rank 3 quest somehow unlocked when I had some 2000 points left to go, which I’m not going to complain about.
Looks like that random old man who’s been waiting in Nunki forever will finally get his wish! The dialog is clearly designed for pre-promachination, tho

Registration Lady: “This time, we’d like you to act as someone’s escort.”

Registration Lady: “His name is Mr. Lance, and he’s very dear to us here at the Coliseum.”

Registration Lady: “We have him scheduled to meet you in the woods of Nunki Valley, so, let’s see…”

Registration Lady: “Why don’t you guide him from there to Cebalrai?”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:42 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Before we can leave, we get pounced on by some guy called Ark, who’s weirdly eager to tell us about sponsors. Whichever answer we pick, we get the same infodump

Ark: “Sagi, your sponsor is Mr. Sting, right?”
Dialog choice: “I don’t know” versus “Sponsor?”

Ark: “You don’t know? How can you not know?”

Ark: “Yeah, sponsor. A sponsor is a sponsor. How can you not know about this?”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:45 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Look, I just got dogtags from some quitter in Mintaka, I have no idea how any of this works

Ark: “Sponsoring a successful fighter here in the Coliseum is like a status symbol for them.”

Ark: “As a result, whenever some conflict arises between sponsors,”

Ark: “they have the entrants under their wing duke it out for them.”

Ark: “Well, as a result of THAT, you see rigged matches every so often. The world ain’t always a pretty place.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:48 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Okay, sure. Some other NPCs have also been talking about Panie sponsoring some really strong monsters.
This would all have more weight if the encounters had actual theme or difficulty to them, but it’s all shuffles of one area’s monsters with little rhyme or reason!

Ark: “Anyway, my point here is it’s for your own good not to beat anyone sponsored by that aristocrat Panie.”

Ark: “Not only would you open yourself up to a world of hurt, your sponsor would also be at risk of retaliation.”

Ark: “I only say this because I’m expecting great things from you. I’ll quit nagging at you for now.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:50 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

I don’t know whether this was there all along or appeared with Rank 2, but: yikes

Coliseum attendee: “A baby face like yours oughta bring the ladies here in droves! Make it happen, Sagi!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:53 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

And as @ChaoticBlades mentioned, Elle gets new dialog for every rank

Elle: “Huh? Who are you, mister? Dr. Jigzek! You’ve got a visitor!”

Elle: “J-just teasing! I’m just teasing! Don’t look so down, Sagi.”

Elle: “You’ve moved up to rank 2, right? But don’t get cocky! There are plenty of others at that level!”

Elle: “It’s going to take more than that to prove your strength! Keep it up, Sagi!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:55 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

To Nunki and the old man who’s been there a WHILE!
When he asks whether we’re who he’s been waiting for, we can be sincere…

Old Man: “Oh? Are you the guide sent over by the Coliseum?”
Dialog choice: “That’s right” versus “You’re mistaken”

Lance: “Oh ho! I was getting tired of waiting. Well, shall we go?”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 08:58 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Or we can lie, in which case being sincere afterwards gets a different reaction. No choice if we want to advance the quest anyway, but what is it with this plotline and making Sagi lie?

Lance: “You aren’t? …That’s so odd. How long are they going to take to get here?”

Lance: “Is that so? Why didn’t you say so before?!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:01 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

The escort quest is then implemented as a bunch of questions with incredibly unhelpful answers, typos, and assumptions that there are still trees around.

Sagi: “Lia, which way was it to Cebalrai again?”
Dialog choice: “Walk farther back” or “Walk closer”

Lance: “…But wait, if I head any father back I’ll get lost in the heart of the woods. What a mean Sagi you are!”

Lance: “Now tell me the truth! Which way should I head?”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:03 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

And it’s self-aware, too

Lance: “Closer? Closer. OK. It’s hard to follow directions like closer or farther…”

Lance: “I just know I’m going to get lost again. And closer to what? Closer according to whom? Grumble, […]”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:05 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Yes, Sagi, down the cliff, which we’ve jumped up and down a zillion times, why would you look shocked?
If you answer “farther back” Lance just moves back to the first location.

Sagi: “Lia, which way was it to Cebalrai again?”

Sagi: “Down?! Down, like, down the cliff?”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:08 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

And same in the third and final location: “further back” moves him back to the second step, “closer” gets him out.
How… how do you get from Cebalrai to the Coliseum. All the ships are in Pherkad. What.

Lance: “So, which way do I need to head in order to reach Cebalrai?”

Lance: “Ohh! I can see chimney smoke in the distance! That must be Cebalrai!”

Lance: “From there, it’s just a hop and a skip to the Coliseum!”

Lance: “Thanks for playing guide for an old coot like me.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:10 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Anyway, that’s Rank 3 achieved, which changes the state of the Coliseum itself: new NPCs, new dialog!

Registration Lady: “Thank you for helping Mr. Lance out. He had some very nice things to say about you, sir. We really […]”

Text over blurred background: “Sagi achieved Rank 3 status!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:16 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Starting with another dire warning about Panie. Spoiler: we need to clear all the sets to rank up so we can’t avoid it anyway.

Ark: “In the Rank 3 battles, there’s a set called [red text] the Snare [end red text].”

Ark: “Trust me, you’re better off losing it. They’re favorites of that aristocrat Panie I warned you about.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:18 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Elle’s got more new dialog…

Elle: “Wh-what, you’re already at Rank 3? It’ll take more than that to surprise me, though!”

Elle: “You’ve got a long way to go before that championship you promised me! Keep it up, Sagi!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:20 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

And onto our theme of “somehow a 15yo is getting a lot of attention from adult women”, YAY (no)

Sfida Attendant: “A while ago, a girl who said she was a fan of yours came by to take a look at the ship!”

Sfida Attendant: “Sagi, I never knew you were such a player!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:21 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

It is not a fluke, it’s everywhere

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:24 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

We’ve also still got that one old man wanting to see muscles, and another one creeping on the ushers. Hashtag diversity

Coliseum attendee 1: “I wonder what sort of person they are? All muscly like I like them? Ack, I simply must know!”

Coliseum attendee 2: “Whoa ho! What a fine rump!”

Coliseum attendee 2: “Girls whose work keeps them standing up all day have the most perfect rears!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:27 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

There’s also less irksome stuff. Our dogtags donator is here, for instance. He faux-apologizes but then reminds us how COOL this all is. Sure.

Wussy Guy: “H-hey, it’s you! Looks like you’re working pretty hard!”

Wussy Guy: “It’s me! Me! I was the one that gave you the Coliseum dog tags back in Mintaka…?”

Milly: “Do you have any idea what we’ve been through thanks to you?!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:30 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

There was a blank wall and an artist pondering what to paint. The decision has now been taken. Not a Champion’s portrait YET!
(Ignore the discrepancy in the last two images they definitely weren’t taken after Rank 4 nuh uh)

Artist: “It had to be you that I painted, Sagi! No one else would do!”

Coliseum publicist: “Wh-what is the portrait of some random entrant doing here?! It’s not like it’s a Champion’s portrait.”

Sagi: “Whaa?! Wh-why is something like this here?!”

Milly: “Ahaha! I think it looks good, Sagi.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:32 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Also ft. further conspiracy theorizing and whatever this dialog even is

Coliseum attendee: “I’m not going to fall for this imperial conspiracy!”

Coliseum attendee: “Sure, it’s fun to watch strong entrants going at it, but I won’t let them sucker me in!”

Coliseum fighter: “Ahh! My head! My heaaad!”

Coliseum fighter: “It’s pointy! Pointy!!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:35 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

And the infirmary now has a nurse being creepy about Sagi and patients being creepy about the nurses. WONDERFUL, moving on

Nurse: “I never forget the good-looking ones! Tee hee!”

Patient 1: “If so, don’t talk to me. I’m just here because of my little maid fetish.”

Patient 2: “Oh, man, and they’re both my type. I can’t possibly choose!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:38 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

As mentioned, bringing the required points to 0 without defeating The Snare doesn’t yield the quest dialog so splat they go. Ark warns us again, sure, whatever.

Coliseum registration UI.
Choices: “Register for a battle”, “Ask about the Coliseum”, “Make small talk”, “Never mind”.
Sagi’s status: Rank 3, RP 58800, Next 0.
Registration Lady: “How can I help you?”

Registration Lady: “I have a dinner invitation here for you from someone very important.”

Registration Lady: “It’s from a Coliseum sponsor by the name of Mr. Panie.”

Ark: “You beat Panie’s protégés… He’ll have set his sights on you now for sure.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:48 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Off to Komo Mai. Dinner doesn’t seem to be in the cards.
This is not voiced and has no music, not even the default ominous theme they’ve been overusing a lot. It’s making the whole thing pretty weak!

Butler: “We’ve been waiting for you. Right this way, please.”

Man: “Might you be our young Sagi? I’ve heard the rumors.”

Panie: “Magnanimous patron of the Coliseum… When put that way, it paints a pretty picture.”

Panie: “The reality is simply that I see after a number of entrants and monsters for the amusement of it.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:52 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

He’s upset we sent Generic Monster Group 37 packing, and so he’s figured out we borrowed someone’s dogtags, oh noes.
Again this might have more impact if there was literally any audio, and if they hadn’t painted Sagi’s face on the wall already

Panie: “Which prompted me to do a little research on you, young Sagi.”

Panie: “It would appear you’re not an officially registered entrant at the Coliseum, are you?”

Panie: “Something of a cuckoo, aren’t you? An outsider who slipped in through a loophole…”

Panie: “If this information goes public, I should say there’s little doubt you’d be banned from the Coliseum.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:54 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Sure, whatever, yaaaawn

Panie: “You can elect to leave the Coliseum of your own will, or be chased out when this scandal breaks.”

Panie: “I dislike people who disrupt the scenarios I’ve written. Surely you understand.”

Panie: “Our little chat ends here, my boy. I’ll be seeing you, young Sagi.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 09:57 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

On the bright side, it finally makes his dialog about gravity and water make sense. Kinda weird that said dialog doesn’t change after this “little chat”, though!
Also evil guy is from Mintaka, how novel

Butler: “This villa belongs to Mr. Panie, a noble of Mintaka. What business have you here?”

Panie: “Ever stop to examine the glory of water? It offers no resistance, simply obeying gravity’s inexorable […]”

Panie: “If only everything entrusted itself to the flow of things so remarkably, my job would be an easy one.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 10:05 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

And of course he’d pretend the whole thing was civil. Textbook. Anyway, Rank 4!

Registration Lady: “Welcome back. How did your dinner with Mr. Panie go, sir?”

Registration Lady: “He mentioned that you were a well-mannered boy and a true sportsman.”

Text over blurred background: “Sagi achieved Rank 4 status!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 10:07 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

There’s a Milly portrait in the hall now!

Milly: “Eeek! What is this? When did this go up?!”

Sagi: “Oh, I think it’s nice. I think they captured you pretty well.”

Guillo: “Right. You can practically see the evil oozing out of every pore. It’s a pretty amazing work.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 10:10 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

And there’s new dialog in the Sheliak infirmary again. Something something truth from the mouth of children?

Doctor: “Elle’s face has been lit up for days. I’m sure it’s thanks to all the talk of your successes floating around!”

Elle: “Sagi, I heard all about the last match! They said it was a doozy!”

Elle: “You’ve got the face of a chump, but you’re actually really strong, aren’t you? What a shock!”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 10:12 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

Mostly by extensive use of Zeniver Cascade (Guillo’s level 3 ice AOE), I make it through most of the point requirement and am told I can’t get the quest yet. A peek at guides said it’s in Tarazed so I guess that tracks.

Registration Lady: “You’ve completed all the requirements for becoming Rank 5, I see. Congratulations, Mr. Sagi!”

Registration Lady: “About your rank quest—well, sadly we haven’t had any requests.”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 10:15 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

So instead, let’s go try out another @ChaoticBlades suggestion: load an older save, and give a Terrible rather than Heartbreaking Song.
Does not advance the quest, objectively much better dialog.

Frightened Girl: “What is this? What IS this? This… this sorry excuse for a song! I can feel my rage surging like bile!”

Frightened Girl: “Just what does he hope to accomplish by subjecting me to a song this awful? That scummy […]”

Sagi: “Hmm, looks like it’s really not going to work as-is. Think we could spice it up a bit somehow?”

Lia @liareplaysbk · 10:17 AM · Jan 01, 2023 Permalink

And after that it’s off to Atria see what’s over there. I can now advance past where the Malpercio siblings fell, and there’s a save flower, so… I guess next time is a boss of some sort!

An empty stretch of desert map, with a red save flower to the side.